But alas.
Reality likes to crush ideals like a Hummer meeting an armadillo in the Mississippi Delta. Yes, it was hot. Yes, it was humid. Yes, I wrung sweat out of my uniform. This alone could not shake my indomitable spirit. Even the poison ivy, ringworm and yeast infection on my leg on disaster could not bring me down. It was Louisiana that killed my soul.
Upon arrival to this accursed state I broke out in an intensely itchy mystery rash that for a week I thought was ants biting and crawling over my hands and feet in the middle of the night. With no evidence of hills of ants crawling up to the top bunk which I called home I sought another answer. After looking at pages and pages of skin ailments on the internet my next explanation was heat rash. I directed my anger to the perspiration that ran down my arms and legs day after day. My home remedies improved the condition not at all so I returned to the ever useful world wide web searching for anything else that matched my symptoms. I came upon some photos of chiggers and thought this to also be a viable option, but there weren't any helpful suggestions on easing the suffering of the afflicted. So I suffered. Not in silence, as is my usual style, but loudly, frequently and annoyingly. I had finally snapped. I was allergic to Louisiana. I was uncomfortable every hour of the day I wasn't in a Benadryl-induced coma and couldn't wait to return to civilization where it is possible to go 2 hours without sweating.
I still don't know what the raised and inflamed bumps dotting my extremities are though they have begun to improve...slowly. My hope rests on the healing powers of a basement pumping out A/C at a ridiculously unnecessary rate for the 7 days I am on summer break in Wisconsin. And only then, when evidence of the horrors I befell in the Bayou state cease to bear vivid evidence on my skin, when the worst of the sores have faded to scars, maybe then I can reflect on the happier moments of the latter half of round 2.
Until that time, I remain bitterly yours, the marred and scarred Hojo.
And for those of you jerks that dare to doubt the discomfort of my condition, here is a photo. Mind you, this was taken a full month after the condition first attacked and is also only a portion. The same enveloped my hands and wrists and up the back of one leg and on my lower back as well. Ew.
