“I’m touching him but he’s not saying anything!!!”-Diversity Training

Sooo my plan to lose weight because I’d have more limited resources for buying food during AmeriCorps has failed miserably. I’m eating better than I have in years (sorry ma…). Apparently a huge number of people my age do, in fact, know how do cook and are only too happy to exchange this service for me cleaning up after. CURSES!! So let’s hope PT will do something to make up for this miscalculation.

Speaking of PT---

Here we have a story involving two of my favorite things: proving my ineptitude during exercise classes and inappropriate laughter. Now, I think I can guess what you are anticipating, but no, I did not fart at any point during the work out. Just so you know.

Continuing on, our PT has everything- stretches, jumping jacks (which we call side straddle hops…???), push-ups, sit-ups, “ameri”-squats, flutter kicks, and for a finale some weird bicycle twist things. It was during this final exercise that I finally broke down. The instructor started counting double time and I had absolutely no hope of keeping up so instead I busted into hysterical laughter because, in my opinion, of the absurdity of the task that had been set us. The team leaders near me were either not paying any attention to my not-so-silent convulsions or inclined to agree with the sentiment that the pace set was too ridiculous to take seriously at 7 am. I’m fairly certain it’s the latter. They seem to have a good sense of humor.

Speaking of Team Leaders---

“I don’t know the politically correct way to say this…but my crotch is a magnet for food.” –Josh, my team leader (Raven 5 ftw!)

Speaking of politically correct---

I promised to inadvertently offend someone, and people, I am true to my word. I was having a conversation with a large group and at one point turned to the person next to me to lament over the fact that it was going to be hard to replace our temporary teams once we got our permanent placements because my current teammates were so open and never insulted by anything I said. I continued that I hated when people were overly sensitive and got offended easily. She gave me a nervous half smile, turned to someone else and hasn’t spoken to me since...

Speaking of people not speaking to me---

LEAVE ME COMMENTS. Ask questions and whatnot. The most oft asked (and frustratingly vague) question I have received is "what have you been doing so far?" So, once more, it is summary time:

-PT has begun *ominous music*

-"Diversity" Training. Please don't ask me to explain this.

-Physicals--creepy male doctor taught me how to do a self breast exam...awkward. In related news I don't have TB, drugs in my system or a baby in my uterus, hoorah!

-I am officially a member of Raven 5 and our van Gimp(y). I named it but it hasn't quite caught on yet, but oh, it will. Trust me. The slider door doesn't open from the outside and there is a pretty intense air of general dilapidation about it.

-I am now a certified Red Cross volunteer! Along with this training came "child-friendly spaces" so I'm trained to set-up and run a child care area in a disaster shelter. muahahahaha

-And then there is free time....which gave birth to the following:

New epic Apples to Apples win. Lucky=Anne Frank "Well I mean, she survived right? She wrote books about it!" Raven kitchen beats all.